Most of you probably know that the Jewish student organization on campuses throughout the country is generally known as Hillel, named after the brilliant and quite amiable, flexible, understanding rabbinic sage in the first century of the Common Era.

Hannah Pasternak is one of the religious school teachers at DRRS here at Kol Shalom also happens to be a student at St. Johns College here in Annapolis, and she tells me that the name of the Jewish student organization at St. John’s is Shammai, which is really quite funny and ironic.

What makes the name of St. John’s Jewish student organization so ironically funny is that Shammai, was Hillel’s collegial rival.

Hillel has always been the more well-known name, and the more frequently quoted rabbinic scholar.

However, there are people who have the name Shammai and indeed, many of Shammai’s teachings are quite worthy of attention and study.

In Pirke Avot chapter one, Mishnah 14, we find one of Hillel’s most famous statements, of which I have spoken and almost every rabbi has spoken numerous times – “If I am not for myself, who will be for me, and if I am only for myself, what am I, and if not now – when?”

Almost everyone has heard that teaching, but few pay attention to the very next Mishnah in chapter one of the Ethics of the Fathers, which brings us to the teaching of Shammai, who says,

Asay Toratcha Keva - Make Torah a fixed part of your life, that is devote a fixed time every day to the study of Torah –

Emor m’at Va-asay Harbay - which means simply say little and do a lot (actions speak louder than words).

And, the last of these three teachings in Shammai’s statement

V’heh-vay m’kabayl et kol HaAdam b’sever Panim Yafot - Receive every person with a pleasant countenance.”

This is truly a fascinating teaching – so much so that it almost seems out of place when you think about it in relationship to the others which accompany it.

The first two teachings indicate how we are supposed to approach Torah, the study of God’s lessons, and the Mitzvot, the commandments we are supposed to perform.

But this last comment is about interpersonal relationships and how important it is to just greet a person cheerfully, or pleasantly, or at least, with a nice face – with a Shayne punim, because the Hebrew for pleasant countenance is “panim yafot” – literally meaning “the pretty face.”

After all, no one likes to talk to Oscar the Grouch.

Now what is really quite interesting about all of this is that according to some references in the Talmud, it seems that maybe Shammai himself was, if not Oscar the Grouch, then Rabbi Shammai the Grouch.

There is a very well-known story about how a prospective convert came first to Shammai and then to Hillel in order to discover what the process might be for conversion.

He states his request to Shammai by asking Shammai to teach all there is about Judaism while the convert stands on one leg.

And you know what happens, some of you do – Shammai sends the prospective convert away and says, basically, don’t bother me with such foolishness – Judaism is a serious discipline and you’re not taking this seriously.

The story is always told as a way of degrading this tactic by Shammai in comparison to Hillel who teaches a form of the golden rule.

Given the same opportunity to instruct the convert Hillel sees an opening and teaches “Do not do unto others that which you would not want to have done to you.

Oh yes, Hillel does add that the rest is commentary exhorting the prospective convert to now go and study.

Hillel is praised for doing exactly what Shammai later teaches.

Hillel greets a prospective convert, or in other words, someone from whom Hillel was not likely to receive any direct benefit or favor, with a cheerful countenance.

Shammai did not.

Perhaps Shammai learned an important lesson – and that’s why he, more than Hillel, could teach this lesson. It came naturally to Hillel and was more of an effort for Shammai.

And that’s important for all of us to realize and remember.

This is not always an easy thing to do.

It sounds like just simply saying hello in a nice way should be something that we could all master, but we know that’s not the case.

Some of us are able to consistently reflect a cheerful countenance when we engage others and begin a conversation, but for many, it is much more complicated and not so easy.

Some of us are able to look others right in the eye, and engage our fellow brothers and sisters in meaningful conversation and interactions, but for others, that is not the case at all.

Looking someone directly in the eye and trying to connect as did Moses and God, panim el panim – face to face, soul to soul, could be among the more difficult experiences in life.

It’s really amazing that Shammai taught this lesson because, maybe he needed to work at it, and was able to learn how important it really is.

Certainly this is an incredibly important lesson for us on Yom Kippur, a day that represents the pinnacle of repentance and atonement.

Shammai teaches us that we can improve in our areas of weakness, whatever they may happen to be.

We may or may not share this problem with Shammai, but I think we can all understand, that when something has been very difficult for us in interpersonal relationships, or in some other area of life, our own struggles to improve can sensitize us to similar difficulties experienced by others.

In other words, ladies and gentlemen, maybe this is an important teaching to share with you from Shammai because, very simply it proves, that people can change.

But there is another reason why I share this with you today and why I chose this teaching from Pirke Avot to begin this sermon.

What I share with you now really continues a story that I shared with you last year on Rosh Hashanah – I’m sure you remember – and perhaps it brings the story to an end, at least for the time being.

Remember I told you the story of Bonnie Clark whose father was a veteran of World War II and who died suddenly in January 2006.

When it came time to move Bonnie’s mother to an assisted living residence in Virginia, Bonnie finally started to go through her father’s boxes and other possessions.

She saved her dad’s dresser for last and came across the sixteen black and white photos from World War II we showed all of you last year.

There were descriptions on the back of each one and some of course were taken at concentration camps.

Bonnie continued to figure out what to be done with these pictures but just for the time being put them in a separate drawer.

She agonized over how to distribute these pictures and to whom.

Because our synagogue administrative assistant, aka secretary Mary Fortin, greets everyone with a cheerful countenance, because Mary Fortin embodies the teaching of Shammai, with whomever she speaks on the phone or in person, Bonnie decided she would have a conversation with Mary, she trusted Mary enough, even though she had never met her, to tell the story of her father’s pictures.

You know what happened – Mary told me, I met with Bonnie, and we arranged for contact to be made with the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.

After many meetings and discussions, it has been determined that five photos will be on display permanently at the museum and included in the archives.

Along with each photo, in honor of Bonnie’s father and family, there will be a one-page description of Bonnie’s father’s death and the discovery of these pictures.

In addition, there would be a summary of how Bonnie brought these pictures via Mary, to our congregation, and how Bonnie’s reaction to what she felt here, convinced her, that the museum was the right place for the photos.

A few weeks ago, Bonnie sent me copies of the pictures that will be included in the museum and the text that will accompany each of the pictures.

She also sent me this very lovely special note that I share with you –

Rabbi Pohl, Judy (that is, Judith Cohen who works at the Holocaust Museum) sent me a sample of the final text today that will accompany each photo.

What a surprise that they chose five of the photos instead of the two or three that she told me when she first looked at them.

She was so patient with all of my proofreading and changes and she did a great job of editing the text I submitted with the original photos, a copy of which I am also including.

As I said, Mary is the reason I came to Kol Shalom (did I ever tell you that I live three minutes from a synagogue here in Bowie?), but you and your congregation are the reason that I went forward with the donation.

I always loved walking in the woods with my dogs, following all the different paths, and when I saw Kol Shalom for the first time, tucked away in the woods, I immediately felt comfortable (although very nervous meeting you the first time!).

Meeting you and your congregation humbled me and I was so touched by their gratitude. I hope that I have succeeded in honoring you and Kol Shalom the same way that you honored my dad, and I know donating the original photos to the museum will ensure that they will always be safe and taken care of; they will be where they were meant to be.

I’m glad this path led me to the synagogue in the woods.

Gratefully, Bonnie

Now Mary Fortin has a gift, and she uses it naturally in her interrelationships with people.

It is to the benefit of the synagogue and it helps all of us directly and indirectly here at Congregation Kol Shalom.

Shammai didn’t have this natural gift, so we surmise, yet he knew it was important enough to teach and to promote in his special lessons.

In a similar tractate to Pirke Avot, called Avot of Rabbi Natan we learn, “Always greet every person with a smiling face.

What does this mean?

This teaches that if someone gave his friend all the gifts of the world, yet his face was dark and angry, the Torah considers it as if he gave nothing.

But one who greets each person with a smile, even if he gives him nothing, the Torah considers it as if he has given him all the presents of the world.”

This is true, and I will demonstrate to you how you know it is true –

Imagine that you’re walking down the street, let’s say, coming out of Camden Yards after the Orioles lose another game and you see sitting on the sidewalk disheveled men and women who are looking for a gift of some money.

Even if you don’t extend any tzedakah to them, but just kindly state, “Sorry, I don’t have any change today,” most of the time, they will say something like, “God bless you” or “Thank you,” or, “Have a good day.”

I won’t say that they are as happy as when they actually receive some money, but my experience is that when you speak kindly and respectfully and treat these people with even just a trifle of menshlichkeit, your efforts are appreciated, and your goodwill is reciprocated.

Now I imagine that just about everybody here knows that the word shalom, which in Hebrew means hello, is also the word for good-bye.

And if saying hello in an appropriate interpersonal manner is difficult for some of us, then saying shalom when it means good-bye is even more complicated.

I remember one woman we used to know who would often say to her husband, “Come, get the kids, it’s time to say good-bye.”

And her husband would say, “Okay, is it really time to say good-bye, or is the five minute warning to the kids that we’re going to try to leave in five minutes?”

And, certainly it is difficult to say good-bye to our loved ones, when the shalom we offer them seems so final.

We remember those times today and we realize that it’s still somewhat difficult, perhaps very difficult to say good-bye.

Perhaps some of you had an experience similar to one described by Amy Koplow who is the executive director of the Hebrew Free Burial Association in Riverdale, NY.

She received much solace from saying Mourner’s Kaddish daily in the year after her mother’s death.

She mentioned how being a mourner meant that there were many things that she could not or did not do, but saying Kaddish, “however, is something you can do.”

She continues to state, “It let me believe that I helped my mother’s soul move to its eternal rest. And paradoxically, it helped me move away from the pain of her last days and her death.”

“It has been a year since my mother died,” she writes. For the first few months and on holidays it was difficult for me to say Kaddish without falling apart.

The end of the 11-month Kaddish recitation period was also challenging for me.

Although it was a struggle to get up every morning before 6 a.m., it was hard to stop saying Kaddish.

I had begun each day with a Kaddish prayer and therefore each day had begun with a connection to my mother.

When that obligation ended, I felt I was letting go of my mother in an intangible way – her soul no longer needed my help. For me, it was the final difficult separation.”

It was not easy for Amy Koplow to say good-bye, but she turned to our tradition and the wisdom it contains for help and assistance.

She was able to do so, despite the difficulty, in stages, and she still has, as we all do, the opportunity to again say good-bye, with the 20/20 vision of hindsight.

We can choose how to remember our loved ones, with more clarity.

We can discover special ways to continue to honor them in the acts we perform.

Let me share with you a brief scene from the well-known popular show from yesteryear – “All in the Family.”

Jewish friend Paul: Shalom.

Edith Bunker: Shalom? What does that mean?

Mike Stivic: Believe it or not, Ma, it means "peace".

Gloria Stivic: Jewish people also use it to say "hello" and "good-bye".

Edith Bunker: How do you tell if they mean "hello" or "good-bye"?

Archie Bunker: Simple, Edith, If a Jew is walking towards you, it means "hello". If he's walkin' away, it means "good-bye".

Edith Bunker: When does it mean "peace"?

Archie Bunker: In between "hello" and "good-bye".

The way we say both Shalom-Hello and Shalom-goodbye create Shalom-Peace for our relationships eem Hachayim v”hamayteem, with the living and the dead.

Yizkor is really an opportunity to once again say hello to all our loved ones who have gone to their eternal homes, and then again say good-bye.

For some, this may be difficult and painful, but for many of us, it provides balance, continuity, and dignity in the way we want to honor and remember those who have been close to us and those whom we loved the most throughout our lives.

It helps to courteously and warmly greet those with whom we come into contact, and say good-bye properly to those whom we must leave.

It helps both within the context of our daily activities or when we remember our loved ones.

How we enter into a relationship, and how we say good-bye, how we say shalom in both cases, can be the key to creating and maintaining shalom in its other meaning – a sense of peace, a sense of wholeness, a sense of atonement, of being at one again, with all the people we have been blessed to meet, and all the people we lovingly remember in blessing today.

May God lead us in shalom, in peace to everyone we meet in this world and may God bring rest and peace to all of our loved ones in the world to come.

Amen